Waiting on the Sideline
by everlovingdeer
Summary: James lowered his eyes to the table, staring at his glass and I sighed; it seemed like he wasn't going to give me an answer again. Until – "Who told you to try and get over me?"
1. Waiting on the Sideline

It wasn't odd for me to receive an owl from Sirius, claiming that I needed to abandon all of my work and apparate straight to the Potter familial home. _But_ because I knew just how much of a drama queen Sirius was, I never left work half way through the day. Instead, I finished work for the day and _then_ apparated straight to James' home. And each time I had been right – there was never any sort of emergency.

 _Well,_ apart from that one time the boys had tried their hands at cooking and had set the kitchen on fire. But luckily, Remus had been there to save the day.

That was the reason why I didn't bother rushing to leave work when I received yet another letter from Sirius, claiming that there was an emergency. Finishing up my work, I clocked out for the day and walked out of the ministry building, heading towards one of the apparition points. The wards to the Potter cottage shifted to allow me easy access to the home and I scanned the hallway, looking for the boys.

Shrugging out of my coat, I frowned when I didn't hear the usual sounds that occupied the house – James and Sirius weren't shouting excitedly. The house was _too_ quiet. I tensed slightly, hand moving to grasp my wand by my side as I made my way slowly through the hall.

"Sirius?" I called out quietly, "I'm here."

There was movement on my left. I flinched, turning to face the person who had emerged from the room, wand drawn and pointed straight to their chest. Sirius' eyes widened in surprise and he raised his arms in surrender. Letting out a breath that I didn't realise I had been holding, I returned my wand to my side.

"Merlin woman," he exclaimed, lowering his hands, "Since when did you get so trigger happy?"

"We aren't exactly living in the safest of times," I remarked tersely, pocketing my wand. "So, what was this emergency then Sirius, you drama queen?"

"It's a real emergency this time," he insisted as I walked towards him.

"A real emergency?" I fell into step beside him as we walked up the stairs. "What exactly do you mean by that? A real emergency as in you ran out of cake, or as in you almost burned the house down? Again?"

"It's something much worse," he said grimly, coming to a stop in front of James' bedroom door.

I furrowed my eyebrows, growing rather concerned at the expression Sirius was currently wearing. He gestured for me to open the bedroom door and I did just that, recoiling instantly when I was assaulted by the heavy stench of alcohol.

"What the hell?" I glanced back at Sirius who ushered me into the room, "Pads?"

Taking the cue, I stepped into the room to find that the curtains were still drawn shut and I very much doubted that they had been open today at all. Muttering a small 'lumos' under my breath, I surveyed the room and felt my eyebrows rise at the sheer number of empty bottles of firewhisky scattered around the room. James had never been able to handle so much liquor. And whilst he wasn't the neatest person, certainly never kept his room in such a state – his sheets were scattered across the floor, shattered glass from now broken picture frames scattered beside the fireplace and a half empty, open closet. Lily's clothes were gone.

"Pads?" I asked again, voice quiet.

"I found him like this in the morning," Sirius explained, leaning against the wall. He nodded his head and I followed the movement to find James slumped against one of the walls, clearing having exhausted himself to the point of falling asleep. "I woke him up but he fell asleep again. I've tried four times now."

"Merlin," I muttered under my breath, turning my eyes away from James.

Crossing the room, I stepped over the books strewn across the floor and avoided the broken glass on my way to the window. Opening the curtain, I turned to look at James who shifted when the evening sunlight fell across his face. He shifted, murmuring under his breath as he barely opened his eyes.

"Pads you bastard," he swore with no heat, his voice rough. "I told you to leave me alone."

"James, it's me," I said gently, crossing the room and approaching him. Kneeling beside him, I waited for his blurry eyes to focus onto my face. "What the hell did you do, you bloody tosser?"

He smiled grimly and turned his eyes away from me. "Just leave me alone."

I sighed and looked back at Sirius who stood in the doorway, "Go and get a glass of water and the strongest hangover potion you can find."

Turning back to the unresponsive boys in front of me, I pushed some of his hair out of the way and frowned at just how pale he'd gone. His glasses were on the floor beside him, broken from where he'd clearly thrown them down in a fit of anger. Repairing the glasses with a muttered spell, I handed the glasses back to James who hesitated to put them on his face.

"Tell me you didn't drink on an empty stomach?" I raised an eyebrow and he shook his head, "Well, you at least had that much sense." Taking his hand in mine, I helped him stand up and moved him to sit on the bed. "Stay here until Pads comes back and take the potion without a single protest James."

He made no reaction and I bit my bottom lip in concern. Merlin, just what had happened last night?

I knew James, and because I knew him, I was certain that it wasn't the time to prod him for details. That was the reason why I started to right his room without another word. Picking up the scattered sheets, I stripped the duvet of the covers and put them into the hallway; they reeked of alcohol and needed a wash.

"Here." I glanced over my shoulder to find Sirius handing James the hangover potion. James made no move to accept the potion and when he saw the heavy look Sirius was giving him, he drank it silently before washing the taste away from with the glass of water.

Sirius joined me in fixing the room by repairing each of the broken picture frames and returning them to their place. When he noticed that the pictures with Lily in were missing, he met my eyes and it was obvious that we both had no idea what we were supposed to do. Where was Remus when you needed him?

Still, we didn't pry. I was collecting the empty firewhisky bottles when James decided to speak up.

"I proposed to her last night," he admitted quietly and both Sirius and I slowed in our motions, listening to him. "I proposed to her last night and all she could say to me was that there was someone else."

One of the bottles fell from my hand, shattering beside me. Repairing the bottle with a quick wave of his wand, Sirius picked it up and handed it back to me with wide eyes. Really, where was Remus? What was I supposed to say? Was I supposed to ask who that someone else was? Or offer to talk to Lily?

"It turns out that they were seeing each other for a long time – almost a year," James continued, monotonously, "And the only reason she couldn't end it before was because she felt sorry for me – because of mum and dad. She's left me all alone."

"James," I said gently, seeing the way his eyebrows were beginning to furrow in anger. Setting the empty bottles down on top of his cupboard, I closed the distance between us and took him in my arms. James turned into me, burrowing his head into my stomach as I stood, rubbing his back to try and calm him. Whether it worked or not was debatable; his anger _did_ melt away but he started to cry instead. "You're not alone."

I let out a deep breath, sharing a look with Pads when Remus walked into the room. Remus simply assessed the situation once before helped Sirius tidy up the room.

"I went to Lily's apartment," he explained quietly, his words making James tense slightly. I continued to rub his back and brought my other hand up to run through his hair in the way I knew he found comforting. "I've brought his stuff back."

Sirius nodded and sighed, "And Peter?"

"He's washing the duvets that were in the hallway," Remus explained, "I've already explained the situation to him."

Peter eventually joined Remus and Sirius to help them clean and I was still being held in place by James. His crying eventually stopped, trailing off into sobbing sounds until he stopped all together.

He'd fallen asleep again.

* * *

It was the middle of the night and I'd been forced awake by Sirius' voice. I tried to play it off as a hallucination and rolled over in my bed, covering my head with my blanket in an attempt to drown him out. The blanket was pulled away from me and I groaned, opening my eyes to glare at the man standing beside my bed.

"What the hell do you want from me?" I glanced over at the clock, "Honestly Sirius, I know that I don't have work tomorrow but that doesn't mean I'm going to be alright with you waking me up at 4am."

"Well you know that I wouldn't have woken you up if I had no choice." He crossed his arms as I sat up, pushing my hair away from my face. "Everyone knows what a monster you can be if you're woken up from your sleep."

"And yet you did it anyway," I muttered in obvious annoyance, tying my hair into a loose ponytail. "You had better have had a good reason Padfoot."

"It's James," he explained and just like that, all of my sleepiness had vanished. "He's been having nightmares –"

"And you left him alone?" I demanded, rising from my bed and slipping into my nightgown.

"Do you think I would if I didn't need to?" He rolled his eyes as I tied the nightgown around my waist. "He asked for you. Apparently you help to keep nightmares away?"

"Apparently I do," I agreed, "Remember when his parents passed away a couple of months ago? I'd spent the month or so sleeping next to him so he didn't have any nightmares."

"I bet you enjoyed that," Sirius remarked lightly, trying to bring some humour into this entire situation.

"In any other situation I might have," I admitted as we both headed towards the fireplace. "How is he?"

"Not good," Sirius shook his head, "It's like he's fallen into a bit of a slump. He hasn't been to work in a couple of days and I had to write a letter to his boss and ask him to give James the week off."

"I have no idea how to help him," I admitted.

After checking that the wards to my house had been secured, I stepped into the fireplace and emerged in James' bedroom. He was sitting on the bed, eyes secured on the fireplace as if he was waiting for us to step out of it. Moving away from the fireplace, I watched as Sirius followed shortly after.

"What's going on James?" I asked quietly, approaching the bed to sit on the unoccupied side. "Sirius says you've been having nightmares? Do you want me to knock up a sleeping draught for you to take?"

He shook his head, pushing his glasses up his nose, "You know that I don't like the taste of it."

"But it's guaranteed to make sure that you don't have any dreams or nightmares," I explained as Sirius left the room, shutting the door behind him. "You know that."

"It's not the only way," he persisted, "And _you_ know that."

I sighed but slid under the covers. "You're lucky that I don't have work tomorrow."

James smiled slightly, shifting towards me as I laid down on the bed. He laid down beside me, making sure not to touch me as he slowly fell asleep. I kept my eyes on him, and just like I knew he would, he reached out for me in his sleep. Slinging an arm around my waist, James closed the distance between us and burrowed his head into my neck. I stared up at the ceiling, feeling each of his breaths brush against my neck. He shifted closer in his sleep, curling his leg between both of mine.

Merlin, he made it difficult to get over him. He always had done.

Being the only female friend he had, James sometimes forgot that I was a girl. He was too casual in his affections with me, he always had been. But he saw no reason that he shouldn't have been. After all, how was he to know that the one girl he'd grown up with, the one he'd seen in her nappies, was in love with him and had been for the longest time.

* * *

James slowly returned to normal. He started by doing small things like cleaning up around the house and eventually worked up to going to work again. It was good to see him slowly return to his normal self but no one knew just how long it would take for him to fully get over Lily. After all, he _had_ been in love with her for a very long time.

"James?" I called out curiously after I returned home from work, finding him busy in my kitchen, "What are you doing here?"

"What does it look like?" he asked, holding up the knife he was busy cutting some carrots with, "I'm cooking."

"I can see that," I said slowly, slipping out of my coat and laying it across the back of one of the chairs, "But _why_ are you cooking in _my_ kitchen?"

"I've realised that I've been a bit of a pain," he admitted, smiling sheepishly as he rubbed the back of his neck, "Well I didn't realise until Sirius pointed it out but I tend to rely on you for a lot of things. And I don't really return the favour."

"Sirius told you this?" I couldn't help but be suspicious. It seemed like Sirius was up to his matchmaking again – he had stopped for a while, when James and Lily got together. "You don't really need to do anything James, we've been friends since before either of us could talk."

"But that doesn't mean that I should take advantage of your kindness," he insisted as I walked towards the cooker and peered into one of the pots.

"Your cooking my favourite?"

"I got the recipe from your mum," he admitted, peering at me from over his shoulder before he added the carrots to the pot. "It's the least I could do."

"Stop talking like that James," I ordered with a roll of my eyes, "All I've done is been there for you like a friend is supposed to be. Besides, I don't exactly see you doing this for Peter, Remus or Sirius."

"Well they're different," he said without explaining further. "Now stop complaining and go set the table."

"I don't know how I feel about you cooking James," I teased as I grabbed two plates from the cupboard. "The last time I ate something you cooked I ended up with food poisoning."

"Hey," he protested, the pout evident in his tone, "How many times do I have to tell you that it was only because Pads added something to the food?"

"And what if it happens this time?" I teased, putting the plates on the counter before leaving the room to set the table up.

"Then I'll nurse you back to health," he called out after me, not seeing the way I rolled my eyes in response.

Once I had finished setting the table up, I stepped away for a moment to write a letter to Sirius telling him that I had clocked onto his plan and to stop it. The moment James and Lily had started dating, I had vowed to myself that I would get over James and there was no point in Sirius trying to get James to see me a woman. For all I knew, James saw me as one of the guys – literally.

Dismissing the thoughts of my long term, one sided crush, I started to change out of the regulation suit I wore for work. Slipping into my most comfortable pyjama trousers, I went to undo my shirt.

"Hey, what's taking you so long?" James asked, walking into my room just as I'd taken my shirt off. His voice trailed off, eyes growing wide.

"James!" I exclaimed, holding my shirt to my chest in a feeble attempt to cover up, "What the hell? Why did you just walk into my room?"

"I'm sorry," he said quickly, growing red as he averted his eyes. "I didn't realise you'd be changing."

"Just go and wait outside," I muttered, embarrassment leaking into my voice, "I'll be out in a minute."

He nodded, unable to find the words to say anything else, and left my room. He shut the door behind him and I let out a breath, trying to calm down. Merlin, I just wanted to curl into a ball and die. Of all the moments he could have picked to walk into my room –

Right, I just needed to act natural. If I acted like nothing happened, then he wouldn't see the need to be awkward. If we weren't acing awkward, then we could get through dinner together and then I could sleep away my embarrassment once he left. I hurried to finish changing and slung one of James' old t-shirts over my head.

I took a moment to brace myself before I left my room and found James waiting in the hallway. At the sound of the door opening, he raised his eyes to mine and I ignored the red that flooded his cheeks.

"Let's go and eat," I muttered, brushing past him and heading towards the table, "We don't want the food to get cold."

He murmured in agreement and followed after me. We ate in silence for a few moments and I tried not to sigh; this was exactly what I didn't want. James and I had known each other out whole lives and we'd never been as awkward as we were now.

"Seriously James," I eventually said, "We used to take baths together as kids, it's nothing you haven't seen before. So, stop acting so completely virginal about it."

"You're right," he agreed before looking up at me with a trademark James' smile. I could already see the mischief in his eyes. "So – what size are you then? You looked like a C but I didn't look for long enough."

"James," I hissed, kicking him under the table, "Stop that."

"What?" he protested innocently, looking down at his plate in order to mask his smirk. "If I can't tease you about something like that, then who can?"

"Alright Mr 3 inches," I retorted, "Keep your curiosity to yourself."

"3 inches," he spluttered, "Who told you that lie?"

"Now, now James." I reached out to pat his hand, "There's no need to be embarrassed."

* * *

"Where are you going all dressed up like that?"

I jumped at the question, pausing part way through doing the straps of my shoes. Turning to look over my shoulder, I took a breath to steady my rapidly beating heart when I realised that it was just Sirius.

"Merlin Pads," I complained, rising to my full height, "You scared the crap out of me. How many times have I told you not to appear so unannounced in my house?"

"Clearly not enough times." He crossed his arms, leaning against the wall and I shifted slightly uncomfortably when his eyes ran over my form. "You didn't answer my question; where are you going all dressed up? Anyone would think that you've got a date."

"I have." Keeping my back to him, I shrugged into my coat, "That's why I need to get going. I'd love to stay and talk to you but I _really_ don't have the time to."

"Wait." He stood in my way, blocking the front door. "You're being serious? I thought you were going to give this thing with James a go?"

"I never said that." I sighed, glancing at the clock mounted on the wall. If I was late because of Sirius, then I'd tell the next of his flings that he was in love with Remus and was using her as a beard. "You assumed that yourself, and there's no point in trying to force James into liking me back Pads. He doesn't see me that way and there's nothing that can change that."

"But you don't know –"

"Drop it Sirius." He stopped abruptly, hearing how stern I was. "I've had this one-sided crush on him for years Pads, _years,_ and I'm sick of it. It bloody well hurts to know that he'll never like me back in that way and I don't appreciate you trying to fill me with false hopes so just stop it! You saw how distraught I was when he got together with Lily, you saw the way I had to hide it from him and I don't want to do that when he eventually moves on to someone else. Let me try to get over him in this way at least."

Sirius was silent, assessing my expression with solemn eyes. "You really mean that, don't you?" he asked quietly, "Do you really think it'll be so easy for you to get over James?"

"It obviously won't be – I've been trying to do so for years now and it hasn't worked."

"Just think this through." He crossed his arms, "Getting over James will involve reducing how big of a part of your life he is. And do you honestly think James will let that happen? Merlin, you and James are the only ones that are blind to just how important you are to one another."

"Well he'll have to get used to it." My voice clearly told him that there was no room for discussion and he sighed once again. "Now get out of my way Sirius, I'm going to be late otherwise."

"Fine."

He stepped aside and I hurried out of the front door knowing that there would be no harm in leaving Sirius alone in my house. After all, when James and Sirius had one of their many lovers' spats, Sirius always sought refuge in my home and looked after it like it was his. Pushing thoughts of anything else from my mind, I focused on my date. Reaching the apparition point, I apparated away to Diagon Alley.

By the time I returned home from a rather lacklustre, but pleasant date, it was dark outside and I fully expected Sirius to have gone home. I was right. When I stepped into my house, locking the front door behind me, there was no sign of Sirius. Kicking my shoes off, I headed into my bedroom, untying my hair as I went.

Walking into my bedroom, I didn't notice the figure sat on my bed until I turned the lights on.

"Merlin's beard," I gasped, hand rising to my chest to cover my racing heart as I experienced the second heart attack that day which, like the first, was brought on by a marauder. "What doing you think you're doing James? Why are you sitting in the dark in my room?"

"Pads said you had a date," he started conversationally, but there was something … _off_ about the expression on his face. It was as if he was trying his hardest to act casually when in fact he felt something the very opposite.

"Pads needs to stop broadcasting my news to everyone," I responded, grabbing my clothes to get changed in my bathroom.

"How was it?" James asked after a moment's silence, the question carrying through the closed bathroom door as though he was standing outside the bathroom door. When I emerged from the bathroom I found out that he had been, in fact, standing on the other side of the door.

"The date?" James nodded, following me as I returned to my room. "It was like any normal date, I guess?"

"And the guy didn't try anything?" His voice was rough and I turned to look at him curiously. James raised an eyebrow when I didn't answer his question, leaning his shoulder against the wall.

"If he did then he wouldn't be able to walk right now. You know that James."

"That's one thing." He looked away from me and I frowned at his uncharacteristic behaviour, "And did you enjoy yourself?"

"I guess," I trailed off uncertainly when he didn't even wait for me to answer his question.

Without sticking around to hear my answer, James turned to leave my room. Moments later I heard his voice followed by the roaring of the fireplace as he floo'd back to his home.

And I thought Remus was supposed to be the one with mood swings.

* * *

James' random mood swings didn't stop. In fact, he seemed to be in the same perpetual bad mood but only towards me and he was severely beginning to piss me off with his childish behaviour. It was as if I had done something to annoy him, and if I had then surely, he was supposed to tell me so I could make it up to him? But he didn't tell me. In fact, he stopped talking the moment that I made any mention of it.

He was being such a child.

We, the five of us, had all agreed to meet up at the Three Broomsticks because we had all been too busy to meet up for the past month or so. And I had thought that it would be like every other time we met up; playful, fun and overall, enjoyable. But clearly with James acting like a major bitch, it was too much to ask for.

He had started on it the moment I had stepped into the Three Broomsticks and approached the booth they had occupied.

"Sorry I'm late," I apologised, smiling sheepishly.

I went to perch on the edge of the booth when Sirius and Remus slid out to let me in. Without questioning it, I slid into the booth only to end up sitting beside James. Shifting slightly away from him so that I wasn't touching him, I failed to miss the look he gave the action.

"Don't worry about it," Remus assured me, sliding into the booth followed by Sirius, "We haven't ordered yet."

"So, I'm not that late then." I grinned before engaging Remus in conversation. It seemed as if I hadn't spoken to Remus in a _very_ long time.

"Why did you come alone?" James asked, cutting into my conversation with Remus. "You didn't bring your boyfriend?"

"I don't have a boyfriend?" I furrowed my eyebrows, looking away from Remus and back towards James.

He gave me a disbelieving look. "I thought you'd gone out with _that guy_ a few times now? Doesn't that make him your boyfriend?"

"No James." It was obvious that I was quickly becoming exasperated, "We're friends. Merlin's beard, the same way I'm friends with the four of you."

"You're dating?" Peter piped in curiously, making me look around James to meet his eyes. "You never said anything."

"That's because I'm not dating Pete," I assured him with a roll of my eyes. "I _did_ go on a date with this guy from work but we decided to stay friends. So I have no idea why James keeps bringing him up."

I threw James an annoyed look and he scoffed, "You don't go out so often with a guy friend. You don't go out in the night with them, alone, and you certainly don't spend so much time with them."

"I do with you," I threw back, "Or is this when you tell me that you're secretly a woman?"

"Well I'm different," he declared self-righteously.

"Why?" I crossed my arms, turning to face James and ignoring the way Remus put a hand on my shoulder in order to get my attention. "Who decided that you were allowed to be different from any of my other male friends? Merlin, you're acting like a spoiled child James. You always do this."

"What the hell are you talking about?" he demanded.

"Any time I make friends with _anyone_ and spend less time with you, you become a royal pain in the ass – you did the same thing when we went to Hogwarts and were sorted into different houses and you acted like a right spoiled brat." I huffed. "Was it my fault that the hat put us in different houses?"

"That's not fair," he threw back, shrugging off the hand Peter put on his arm in an attempt to calm him, "I was a kid then!"

"Well you still act that way! You get so bloody insecure if I spend more time with someone else – you did the same thing when you were dating Lily! Any time when you weren't with her or with the boys then you expected me to be there at the drop of a hat. And now that she's not here, you're so demanding about the time I spend with you!" My chest rose and fell rapidly with exertion, the words tumbling out of me. If I had been a bit more level headed then I would have instantly apologised for my words, but I didn't.

"That's not what this is about and you know it," he swore lowly, cinching his jaw.

"No I don't," I insisted taking a deep breath. "Merlin forbid, I ever start dating someone then you become a real monster to deal with. Do you honestly expect me to remain single for the rest of my life and to be on standby for whenever you decide you need me?"

I rose to my feet, gesturing for Pads and Moony to get out of the booth so I could leave. They hesitated, not moving and I glared at them – I didn't need for them to test my patience. Wisely, they slid instantly out of the booth.

"Where are you going?" He caught my arm.

I pulled my arm away from him, "Away from you – I can't deal with your attitude right now."

With that I slid out of the booth and faced the four, now seated men. "I'm sorry about this guys but I need to clear my head." I gave them a small smile, "Why don't we meet up some other day Remus, Peter and Sirius?"

* * *

"Is there any reason you all wanted to meet so quickly?" I asked as I stepped into the Three Broomsticks, days after I had last been here. Remus walked beside me after having picked me up outside of work, "Normally you give me at least a days' notice, not an hour's notice."

"Well we just wanted to catch up," he explained as we headed towards the corner booth, "You left rather quickly last time."

"Well whose fault was that?" I muttered as I slid into the booth, Remus sitting beside me. Glancing around the room, I frowned, "Aren't Pads and Peter here yet?"

"They should be here any moment now," Remus murmured back, looking around the room just as I had done. He rose to his feet, looking down at me with a small smile, "Why don't I go and order our drinks? Is a butterbeer alright?"

"It's perfect."

I watched as Remus headed towards the bar before looking at the door, waiting for Pads and Peter to walk in. The door opened and I smiled when I saw Peter step into the room, clocking where I was sat. Looking back to the bar, I watched as Remus carried two glasses of chilled butterbeer back to the table. Setting the glasses down on the table, he looked in the direction of the approaching figures with a smile.

"So you're finally here then," Remus teased, "It took you long enough."

"I had to wait for the drama queen to agree," Peter responded with a roll of his eyes.

"That's so like Sirius," I replied good-naturedly.

"Nice try but he wasn't talking about me, love," Sirius said coming up behind Peter.

"Then who –" James followed closely behind Sirius and I looked back to Remus with a raised eyebrow, "I thought you said that he wasn't coming?"

"Well you wouldn't have come along if you'd known," Remus said apologetically and I sighed, unable to say anything when I knew he was right.

"Now," Sirius said, forcing James into the booth, "Hurry up and sort out the mess you made James because you're making everyone else's lives miserable."

"The mess I made," James protested, trying to rise from his seat, only to be forced back into again when both Sirius and Peter pressed on his shoulders.

"Just do it already James," Remus pleaded, sliding a glass of butterbeer towards him, "I _really_ don't want to have to magically glue you to the seat." He glanced over at me, "The same applies to you."

"Fine." I sighed, "Let's just get this over with."

"We'll be in the next booth over," Sirius warned, "Don't even try and run away without sorting this out. You're not allowed to leave the room until you kiss and makeup. Literally."

James shifted slightly at Sirius' word choice but said nothing. I didn't look at him as the three boys left us alone. Tracing the rim of my glass, I waited for him to say something because I sure as hell wasn't going to be the one to apologise first. James sighed and I still didn't look at him. He did it again. And again, until I raised my eyes to his.

"I think I owe you an apology," he started quietly, taking a sip from his butterbeer.

"You _think_?" I echoed back, not phased when he raised an eyebrow at me. I knew that I wasn't making this any easier for him but I frankly wasn't in the mood to do that. "I just don't understand why you were acting like such a brat. You wouldn't even tell me the reason why."

James lowered his eyes to the table, staring at his glass and I sighed; it seemed like he wasn't going to give me an answer again. Until –

"Who told you to try and get over me?"

The question was asked so quietly that I thought I'd heard him wrong. Or rather I prayed that I had heard wrongly. Only I hadn't and I knew I hadn't. I rose to my feet, ready to leave when my eyes met Remus' as he sat in the booth beside ours. He raised his wand threateningly in my direction and I sighed, dropping back into my seat.

"How long have you known?" I asked, not knowing what else I could possibly say.

"A while." He cleared his throat.

"How long, James?" I persisted.

"I overheard you talking to Lily – the night of mum and dad's funeral." I let out a breath, unable to look him in the eyes. "You remember, right? I wasn't supposed to hear but I guess Lily didn't like the fact that we shared a bed since the night they'd passed away and she said she'd always known about your feelings for me, but –"

"Stop it, please." He trailed off into silence, watching me cautiously. I took a deep breath, not knowing what else to do. "Look, I don't know why you're bringing any of this up James, but I still haven't heard the reason why you've been acting so strangely."

"Don't try and get over me."

My mouth parted in shock, "Unbelievable, you want me to keep suffering because of a one-sided crush? Do you have any idea just how painful those are?"

"No one said it was one-sided," he protested quietly, "In fact it hasn't been one-sided for a long time. I was going to say something only for Pads to come home and tell me that you're going on a date."

"Of all the cruel jokes you could possibly make, this one is going too far, James." He immediately started to protest. "Don't try and pull this on me, I spent months comforting you when Lily left and I saw the way you caved in on yourself. So, don't you dare try and play with my feelings in return."

"I'm not," he exclaimed, the force of his stare pinning me to my place. "Haven't you ever heard before that you don't realise what you have until it's taken from you? That's what it was like when you were going out with the other men and –"

"Would you stop it!"

"Why is this so hard for you to believe!" He rose to his feet, slamming his hands against the table. Silence fell across the entire room and I couldn't bring myself to look at him.

"Because you might not mean it," the words were quiet, my vulnerability carrying across to him.

"Let me prove it to you," James pleaded, reaching out to take my hand, "However long it takes, let me prove it to you."


	2. Epilogue

_1 YEAR LATER_

"Where are you rushing off so early to?" one of my co-workers asked as I hurried onto the lift just before it could close on me.

"I'm running late," I admitted with a sheepish smile, "I was supposed to leave work half an hour ago, but my head of department asked me to stay back to do some extra work."

From their facial expression alone, I knew they understood exactly how I felt. "And let me guess; it's just your luck that you've got something really important planned today that you can't be late to?"

"You hit the nail on the head." I rolled my eyes as the lift reached the bottom floor, the door opening moments later. "I've got a date."

"Sounds fun," she said with a smile as we both stepped out of the elevator, "Makes me wish I was dating as well. Is it an anniversary?"

I shook my head as we both walked towards the appaoration points, "A first date."

"But I thought you already had a boyfriend?" She furrowed her eyebrows, "Then who's that auror who always drops by to pick you up from work every Friday?"

"Oh, that's just James."

"Well please tell me that this 'James' is the person you're going on a date with."

"He might be," I said, unable to hide my smile before we parted ways for the weekend.

It had taken a long time for me to believe that James was being sincere with his feelings for me, hence the reason why we were only _just_ going on our first date. But James made no comment on about the amount of time I made him wait until finally believing him. After all, no one could say that James wasn't persistent when it came to chasing after what he wanted.

Apparating into my home, my eyes instantly landed on the man sitting patiently on my sofa. What was he doing here so early? Then again – I looked at the clock and realised that _I_ was the one that was running really late.

"I'm sorry," I apologised, the sound of my voice making James look up at me as I approached him. "I got held up at work."

"It's alright," he said with a smile, rising to his feet when I got closer to him. "Here I was thinking that you'd stood me up."

"Like I'd ever dare to." I nudged him with my arm, "We both know you'd hunt me down and make me regret it." Looking back to the clock, I bit the inside of my cheek and asked tentatively, "You didn't happen to have any plans that needed us to keep to a strict time, did you?"

"I got us tickets to see a muggle movie," he admitted, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly, "Your favourite – but if you hurry and we apparate there then we can make it in time."

"I'll be back in a few," I promised, rising to my toes to press a kiss to his cheek.

With that I hurried into my room and changed clothes in record time, remerging from my room to find James watching me with amusement.

"What?" I asked self-consciously, going to his side.

"You do realise that you left the bedroom door open as you changed, don't you?" The corner of his lips curved up into a smirk which he hid behind a cough when I threw him a glare.

"No one said you needed to look!" I exclaimed.

"But I _am_ a man," he drawled, wrapping an arm around my waist, "And besides, like you've said before, it's nothing I haven't seen before."

Before I could respond, he apparated us away and I clung to him, feeling the pull of apparition deep in the pit of my stomach. Once we appeared beside the muggle cinema, James led me inside with a hand pressed to the small of my back.

"Stay here," he ordered, pressing a kiss to the top of my head – had he always been so affectionate? "I'm going to get us some popcorn and drinks."

"Hurry back," I called out as he walked away from me.

Looking back at the tickets that James had handed me, I realised that we were somehow ten minutes early. The wonders of magic.

While James was still busy waiting in line, I looked around at the people milling around the room, waiting to enter the movie theatre. The number of wizards that I recognised was surprising – it seemed that many purebloods, James and I included, loved muggle cinema.

When my eyes met those of a red headed witch, I tensed. Merlin –

Lily, upon making eye contact with me, smiled and approached me, pulling her dark-haired date alongside her. She remained oblivious to the inner turmoil she was causing me as she drew closer and eventually came to a stop in front of me. I looked at the man standing beside her and raised an eyebrow; was this the man she had cheated on James with?

"How have you been?" she asked with a slightly awkward smile – so she _did_ realise what an awkward situation this was.

"I'm good," I trailed off. "How are you?"

"The same as usual." She cleared her throat, "Are you here on a date too?"

I nodded but before I could say a word, an arm slid around my waist. Looking up into James' face, I felt a large sense of trepidation build inside me; how would he react to seeing Lily?

"Alright, Evans?" he asked calmly, looking at her for a moment before turning his eyes to mine. He grinned as if he could read my internal thoughts and nudged me playfully, "We should get going or we'll be late, love."

"Lead the way Potter," I muttered in mild disbelief; how could someone's feelings change so much in a year?

"You know," James started casually as we entered the movie theatre and took our seats, "There was no need for you to get so scared back there. I've already told you countless times but I'll tell you again; I'm in love with you. Not Evans."

"I know and I believe you," I insisted, even when he gave me a disbelieving look. "Really James."

"Promise?" he asked, taking a hold of my hand and pressing a kiss to the back of it as the opening credits rolled across the screen.

"Promise."


End file.
